The Russian army orders 100K rubbers from a US company, specifying 12"" fit needed. The US firm fills the order with packaging marked ""MEDIUM.""

The Russian Army Q: Ho you Hld you -47 when running aay fro nuclea blast? A: On far stretched out hands coad, so the hot , fro the gun does not dip on s oned shoes!

Four people were riding in a compartment on a train in Crimea.. ... an old old lady, a beautiful young woman, a Ukrainian man, and a Russian soldier. The train enters a tunnel and it's suddenly pitch dark. Nobody can see a thing. There is a sound of a kiss, a sound of a slap, and when the train exits the tunnel, the Russian soldier is nursing a painful red slap mark on his cheek. The old woman thinks "That serves him right, trying to take advantage of that young woman in the darkness. I'm glad…

A secretary at the Kremlin is having a cigarette break besides the main entrance. All of a sudden, the doors fly open and bursting out of the building comes a Russian Army general, muttering to himself: "That idiotic, delusional, ridiculous old clown of a president! Why doesn't he just do us all a favour and throw himself out of a window?!" The secretary thought to herself that she had better report to Putin right away what she had just heard. Upon hearing out what the secretary had to say, P…