A guy volunteers to take his wife's childbirth pains... As the expectant couple gets to the delivery room, the doctor tells them about an experimental machine that can transfer part of the pain of childbirth from the mother to the father. The husband volunteers to be a guinea pig and gets strapped in. ""How much do you want to try?"" asks the doctor. ""Let's go with 50%,"" says the man. After a few minutes, the doc asks the wife how she's doing. She says the pain is far less than her last delive…

The year is 2027. Voice to text is flawless. A young child points at a bird and says, "Duck". His mother slaps him.

Can't afford Sea World, so I took my kid to a fish market. Me: 'Shhh, they're asleep' 'Mom, they're breaded' Me: 'That's their blankie'

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed!" said mommy bear. "Who hasn't" muttered daddy bear. "What?! You wanna do this now, in front of the kid!"