The young sailor A young sailor prepares for his first deployment as sea. As this is his first deployment the captain calls him into his quarters to ask the man if he is ready for a life at sea, surrounded by seamen, and away from women. The sailor thinks for awhile and replies ""Well Captain, I'd be a lying scallywag if I did not admit that the thought of not having a woman for months at a time had not crossed me mind."" The Captain gives a warm smile and leans in to tell the young man something of importance. Lowering his voice the Captain says ""Aye, mate tis hard at sea indeed but we've got a little secret on this ship. Below the lower deck there's a secret room originally intended for smuggling. In that room you will find a barrel with a very unique hole. See it's a magic barrel we found near the Bermuda triangle. Just go below deck and use the barrel when you get a craven. Just don't go below deck on Saturday evenings or Tuesday mornings."" Overjoyed the sailor leaves the Captains quarters and heads down below deck. He is amazed at the feeling from the barrel, it's magical how the timber forms together to give a warm, wet feeling. After his use he returns to the Captains quarters to let him know he found the barrel. He says ""Captain, I found the secret barrel and it is truly magical. I only have one question, why can't I use it Saturday evenings or Tuesday mornings?"" ""Aye,"" Says the Captain, ""Cuz that's yahr days in the barrel.""