Don't call me "Dad", please call me by my professional title, "Half-Eaten Food Connoisseur Broken Toy Engineer Butt-Wipeologist".

The genie Three guys, a Canadian, Osama Bin Laden and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. ""I will give each of you one wish, that's three wishes total,"" says the Genie. The Canadian says, ""I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."" With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming. Osama Bin Laden was amazed, so he …

An engineering student moved back into his parent's house after graduating He spent a lot of his time hidden away in his room playing games and arguing with strangers on the internet. One day, he was having a particularly heated conversation on a forum about why Kilograms are a better unit of measurement than Pounds. Then his mother suddenly opened the door without knocking. Shocked, she let out a gasp and quickly turned away as he frantically closed all the tabs in his browser. Maybe that seems…

The Pope, a Greenpeace activist, and an Engineer are... ... all going to the bathroom, but as there is only one stool, the wait in line. First goes the Pope, reliefs himself, get out, wash his hands with a lot of water, and a handful of soap. He looks at the other two and says: I have to use every part of what the Almighty God has gaven us. Than the activist goes to pee, get out of the stool, and with just a couple of drops of water he wash his hands. Looks ath the other two friends and says: We…