Parish priest A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. ""I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told…

During a bank robbery The robber asks the first person in line if they just saw how he robbed the bank. ""Well, obviously I did, I mean it's not that I'm blind or anything"" the man says and BOOM the robber shoots him dead. ""And you, did you just witness this robbery?"" he asks another man in the line. ""No, I didn't, but my wife here did!""

I have an uncle in Texas He's a wealthy guy, made it big in oil. He recently decided to build a new pool for his house. Of course, being a Texan it couldn't be just any pool. He decided to build the biggest pool of anyone he knew. I don't know exactly how big it was, but it had to be at least a couple hundred yards long. The things, my uncle's also got a bit of an eccentric streak to him. I don't know if it was the money, or Texas, or just something about him, but the end result was that he deci…

A man and his motorcycle A man has been saving up money for months to buy a motorcycle. He goes to a vintage bike store near his house. Regretfully, the storeowner tells him that none of his inventory falls within our hero's price range. Just as the man, sullen and defeated, turns to leave, the storeowner remembers something. ""Wait. I do have one bike I can sell you. The only catch is there are some exposed wires. It runs fine. Just make sure you rub some vaseline on the wires when it rains."" …