Little Jonny was 5 years old and born blind. One evening as his mother puts him to bed she says to him, ""Jonny, tomorrow is a very special day: if you pray extra hard tonight God will grant you the miracle of sight"". Super excited, Jonny jumps back out of bed, clasps his hands together and begin to pray, as his mum leaves the room. Just as she is about to close the door Jonny asks, ""mum, will God really give me my sight?"". ""Yes Jonny, but only if you pray extra hard"". An hour or so later, …

""I'm adopted"" A boy gets home from school one day, and over hears his sister crying in a room upstairs. Puzzled, he goes up to see what's wrong. He sits on her bed, and asks ""What's wrong?"" to which she replied ""I'm adopted. Dad showed me the papers, and proved it."" the boy feeling sad for her, tells her ""You're my sister no matter what and I'll always love you as such."" immediately overtaken with acceptance and joy, she kisses him. On the mouth. They get busy, and do the nasty and when …

Mom, come quick, daddy hanged himself in the attic! Gotcha, April fools day! He hanged himself in the garage.

The house phone went at one minute past midnight last night, I answered and went all sombre as I was talking to the wife's Dad. I came off the phone and told the wife her mother had died of a heart attack. She immediately got up and drove through the night from Cornwall to Aberdeen, she'll just be arriving now. This has to be my best April fools joke yet.