As migration approached two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south so they decided to go by airplane. When they checked their baggage the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. ""Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?"" she asked. ""No thanks"" replied the vultures. ""They're carrion.""

No, I can't make it to your hair washing party tonight. I'm washing my h... erm i mean my dog ate my grandmother is dead.

me and grandma are eating bread pudding and watching murder mysteries, she says what's up

At grandma's. Which means this morning I woke up at 8:45am and was still greeted with, "Look who's finally up. We thought you were dead!"