Halal meat I see that in the US they're complaining about halal meat. They want their meat to be killed the American way... but, honestly, what are the chances of a cow enrolling in high school and being shot by a classmate?

[the instructor clearly frustrated with me on first day of veterinary school] "It doesn't matter if its a dog, it's still called a cat scan"

Welcome to Lion Tamer School. Everyone grab a chair. Good... good. You're all halfway to becoming Lion Tamers now.

*calls son at college* Pop quiz, son "Ok" What's the opposite of a hot dog "Um...a cold cat?" Exactly. Now let's talk about Fluffy