From an old National Lampoon record A guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. The comedian comes out for his first act of the evening and says, a guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. The comedian comes out for his second act of the evening and says, a guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. Just then, a guy in the audience says, I think I've heard this before. The comedian says, maybe you caught my first act. The man says, not lik…

A German, an Italian, an American, and a Mexican are sitting on a roof... celebrating after a hard days work. The German pulls out a bottle of beer, takes a long chug and throws the rest of the bottle off the roof. The Italian asks, ""Why did you waste that?"" The German replies, ""Don't worry, we have so much beer in Germany."" The Italian then pulls out a bottle of wine, takes a long chug and throws the rest off the roof. The German asks, ""Why would you do that?"" The Italian replies, ""Don't…

A man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. The show begins and the comedian comes out for his first show of the evening. The comedian says ""A man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. The show begins and the comedian comes out for his second show of the evening.. The show begins and the comedian says ""A man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm"". Just then a man in the front row stands up and says ""I think I've heard this before"". The…

Fifty Years of Marriage An older gentleman goes into a bar and hears the other patrons discussing the ups and down of mariage. "Next week my wife and I will celebrate our fiftieth anniversary," he tells them. "That's great. What's your secret for a long and happy marriage," one asks. "Well, you have to do nice things for your wife." "Such as?" "Well, for our twenty fifth anniversary I took her to Italy." "That is nice. What are you going to do for your fiftieth?" "I'm going back to visit…