Wife: Am I grotesque? Me: No, angel cake! Wife: Why did you call me a cake? Me: Cake is round? *runs *

It's Palm Sunday and we didn't drink the wine out of a coconut? I don't know why this church even has a suggestion box.

It doesn't matter if I go to church or the gym as long as I can act superior later, right?

Using my toes to pick something up makes it hard to go to church on Sunday.