It's Palm Sunday and we didn't drink the wine out of a coconut? I don't know why this church even has a suggestion box.

It doesn't matter if I go to church or the gym as long as I can act superior later, right?

I bet in hell you have to sleep in a hot bedroom with a pillow that never has a cool side.

me: hi sloth: HELL!!!! me: ..umm [walks away] sloth: ..oh :(