A man walks into a bar... A man walks into a bar with a sad look on his face. The bartender asks ""What's the matter, buddy?"" ""I just got fired from my job. I don't know what I'm going to tell my wife and I've got two kids to look after."" ""Look, I tend to keep this to myself, but over in that closet there is a genie who will grant you one wish. Maybe he can help you out."" So the man heads over to the closet. Inside it's larger than he expected and there was actually two people inside. One s…

Which is worse? A couple guys are sitting in a bar and they are getting a bit drunk. One of them says to his buddy ""hey, have you ever wondered which is worse? Giving birth or getting kicked in the balls?"" His friend considers this for a moment, and responds ""it's an age old question. My wife might say child labor, but i'd say getting kicked in the balls. Maybe we'll never know"". A couple years go by, and the guys see each other in the bar again. The second guy says ""hey. Do you remember th…

Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his p…

A Man Walks Into A Bar He orders a Scotch from the guy behind the bar. The bar man watches him as he drinks it and then the man opens his suit jacket and looks in his inside pocket at something. He says to the bar man, "" Same again...make it a double.."" He quickly downs it and again, he peeks into his pocket in his jacket. This happens three or four times, each time the barman looks at him doing the same thing. By the time he orders his fifth Whisky, the guy serving him drinks is wondering why…