Willard, Maynard, and Bud are out in the woods hunting deer Willard and Maynard hear something in the bushes about 15 yards ahead and aim their rifles. Bud emerges from the bushes and shouts, ""Don't shoot! I'm not a deer!"" Maynard promptly shoots Bud right through the heart. Willard says, ""You shot Bud! I can't believe you did that! And he even said he wasn't a deer!"" Maynard says, ""Well damn ... I thought he said he WAS a deer!""

On a shopping trip to the city, a backwoods farmer bought a 24- piece jigsaw puzzle. He worked on it every night for two weeks. Finally, the puzzle was finished. "Look what I've done, Jess" he said proudly to a visiting neighbor. "That's surely something' Willard. How long it took?" "Only two weeks." "Never done a puzzle myself" Jess said. "Is two weeks fast?" "Darn tooting" Willard said, "Look at the box. It says, ‘From two to four years!’"