Kid: "I want to be a doctor when I grow up." Mom: "You can't. Your hands aren't cold enough."

DOCTOR: congratulations, it's a boy! *holds up baby tricycle* BICYCLE DAD: what the hell? BICYCLE MOM: *crying*

The doctor just told my girlfriend and I that the baby is coming early. Like father, like son.

You know you were a fat baby.., When the doctor had to get the jaws of life to remove you from your mother.