Gabe Newell should be the World President He will prevent World War 3.

President Dubya was awakened one night... President Dubya was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. ""Mr. President,"" said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, ""there's good news & bad news."" ""Oh, no,"" muttered the President, ""Well, let me have the bad news first."" ""The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet."" ""Gosh, and the good news?"" ""The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil.""

Brazillian So it's 2004 and the War in Iraq is raging on. President Bush calls Sec. Rumsfeld into the Oval Office to discuss the campaign. Rumsfeld begins by saying, ""Sir, there have been no American deaths today. But we do have word that 3 Brazillian soldiers were killed."" Much Rumsfeld's surprise, President Bush begins crying and banging his hands on the desk in the office. Rumsfeld says, ""Sir, what's wrong?"" Bush replies under his heavy sobs, ""Exactly how many is a Brazillian?""

PRESS RELEASE: Prime Minister of Canada to Visit Washington Statement by the Press Secretary President Bush and Prime Minister John Chretien of Canada met on Sept. 24th with the Canadian Leader strongly supporting the war on terrorism. Prime Minister Chretien issued the following statement: CANADIANS WILL HELP AMERICA WITH THE WAR ON TERRORISM! WE HAVE PLEDGED: - 2 BATTLE SHIPS, - 600 GROUND TROOPS, - 6 FIGHTER JETS. AFTER THE AMERICAN EXCHANGE RATE, THEY WILL END UP WITH: - 2 CANOES, - 6 MOUNTI…