My high-school English teacher was well known for being a fair, but hard, grader. One day I received a B minus on a theme paper. In hopes of bettering my grade and in the spirit of the valentine season, I sent her an extravagant heart-shaped box of chocolates with the pre-printed inscription: ""BE MINE."" The following day, I received in return a valentine from the teacher. It read: ""Thank you, but it's still BE MINE-US.""

Little kid recites ""Twas The Night Before Christmas"" For the grade school Christmas Pageant the teacher had one of the students memorize 'Twas the Night Before Christmas'. Unfortunately, the child fell sick the evening of the Pageant. But another kid stepped forward at the last moment and said he could do the recital. His performance proved to be a show stopper as he recited: ""More rapid than eagles his curses they came, And he whistled and shouted and called them bad names!""

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, ""Where is Jesus today?"" Steven raised his hand and said, ""He's in heaven."" Mary was called on and answered, ""He's in my heart."" Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, ""I …

Teacher: ""Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?"" Student: ""So we know when to start Christmas shopping!""