An Engineer goes to heaven An engineer dies and goes up to the Pearly Gates where he is greeted by St. Peter. "Welcome to Heaven. Come right in. We can always use another engineer". But the engineer does his due diligence and asks to see both Heaven and Hell before deciding where he wants to spend eternity. Heaven is nice but seems dull. Hell, on the other hand, has all sorts of problems that an engineer can enjoy fixing so the engineer decides to go to Hell instead. Some time later God, being a prick, calls down to Hell to ask Lucifer if it is hot enough for him. Lucifer says "Heck no. Since we got that engineer things have become much better. He has drained the stinking swamps, put out the infernal flames and installed air conditioning. Things are quite pleasant here." "An engineer?" exclaims God. "You can't have an engineer. They all go to heaven. Sent him up here immediately." "No," says the devil. "We like him. We're keeping him." "You can't keep him. If you don't send him to heaven I'll sue" says God. At this the devil just laughs and laughs. "Sue? Where are you going to get a lawyer."