Military Humor I had to translate. You can help me fix it. Lieutenant Colonel to Major: “There is a total solar eclipse coming tomorrow at 9am, which does not happen every day. Assemble all soldiers on exercise field, I will provide explanation. In the event of rain, since we won’t be able to see it anyway, assemble everyone in the gymnasium.” Major to Captain: “Per Colonel’s order, tomorrow at 9am there will be ceremonial solar eclipse. If there is a need for rain, Lieutenant Colonel will give a separate order in the gymnasium, which does not happen every day. Captain to Lieutenant: “Per Colonel’s order tomorrow at 9am there will be solar eclipse. In the event of rain the solar eclipse will occur in the gymnasium, which does not happen every day. “ Lieutenant to Sergeant: “Tomorrow at 9am Colonel will perform solar eclipse in the gymnasium, which does not happen every day.” Sergeant to Corporal: "Tomorrow at 9am there will be eclipsing of Colonel because of the sun. If it is raining in the gymnasium, which does not happen every day, assemble all soldiers on the exercise field.“ Two privates talking to each other: “Seems it will rain tomorrow. The sun will eclipse Colonel in the gymnasium. I wonder why it does not happen every day. “