Bill Gates suddenly dies... ...and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95 among other indiscretions. I believe I'll do something I've never done before; I'll let you decide where you want to go." Bill p…

The only clean joke Michael Caine could think of to tell the Queen. I remember this joke from a TV interview I saw with Michael Caine about 20 years ago, and it's stuck with me: A telemarketer calls a house and a little girl answers the phone: Little girl (LG): \*quiet voice* *"Hello?"* Telemarketer (TM) "Hello there and good day, would you mother be available to talk to?" (LG) \*quiet voice* *"No, she's busy at the moment.*" TM: "Oh, okay, would your father be there at all?" (LG) \*quie…

The Irish Millionaire Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros. "You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?" "Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!" "Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest? a) Sparrow b) Thrush, c) Magpi…

An Irish Man Wins Big On 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' Thanks To A Good Friend Mick, from Dublin , appeared on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and towards the end of the program, he had already won 500,000 euros. "You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?" "Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!" "Which of the following birds does …