Spiderman ruined romance for me. Please don't even think of kissing me unless you're hanging upside down from a building.

can we have one night where you don't act like spiderman "ok" [hour later a bird/panther type thing steals wife's purse] "don't look at me"

Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web.

MAN!! My boss is always all "Blah blah blah!", "You're late!", and "Get me more pictures of Spiderman!!"