"Speeding" Tom is cruising down the highway way over the speed limit. Cop pulls him over. "Sorry officer, guess the speedometer got away from me. Happens every time I get hammered and try to drive home." "What?! You're intoxicated?" "Well I needed a stiff drink after I shot that guy! It's okay though, I managed to fit the body in the trunk." "Sir, keep your hands where I can see them. Give me your license and registration right now." "Well I would but it's in the glove box where I threw the gun, it's still pretty bloody and I don't want it to fall out until it's dried." "Do. Not. Move. I'm calling for back-up." Back-up gets there. Second officer gets out, and says "Sir, please open your trunk." Tom opens it. Clean as a whistle. "Please show me your glove box." Tom opens it. Clean as a whistle, along with his license and registration. "I'll need you to take a breathalyzer." Tom blows a .00 "Well what's going on? This officer said you had a dead body in the trunk, a bloody gun in the glove box and were drunk." Tom says, "Ha, I bet he said I was speeding, too."