Appropriate for Election Season A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates and asks his profession. The man says he was a politician. ""Ah,"" says St. Peter, ""then you may choose whether you would like to go to heaven or hell. You may spend one week in heaven, then one week in hell. At the end of the two weeks, you may decide where you would likes to spend the rest of eternity."" So the man goes first to heaven. Everyone sits around peacefully strumming their harps a…

There was a preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance that he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. On one particular Sunday it turned out to be a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was shining, the temperature was just right and there was very little wind. The preacher was in a quandary and wasn't sure what to do....play golf or give the Sunday service. The urge to play golf overcame him and he called in his assistant to take care of the Sunday service for him…

Have you ever heard the story of how the angel got on top of the Christmas tree? Once upon a time, three days before Christmas many years ago, Santa was sitting in his office. He was under a horrible amount of stress; the elves had just announced that they were forming a labour union, half the reindeer had hoof and mouth disease, and Mrs. Claus hadn't touched his candy cane in months. There he was, fuming with rage, when in walks The Angel, cheerful and bubbly as ever, and asks with a big smile…

How did the angel get on top of the christmas tree? So one year, Santa was having a bad time of it. The reindeer were threatening a strike, the elves had to recall 30% of their toys due to manufacturing defects, all in all, just a frustrating time. So Santa stood up and made a very LOUD announcement. "I am going to my study. I'm taking my boots off, having a cup of hot cider, and am going to read a good book. I want. to. finish. my. book." About 5 minutes later, he hears a knock on the …