Two friends are drinking in a bar... Before they know it, the night has passed into the wee hours of the morning. The first man turns to the second and says ""I'll be in trouble when I get home to the wife again. Every time I'm home late I get a taxi to a few doors down, creep round to the back door, take my shoes off, tip toe up the stars and sneak into bed without a sound. She always wakes up and gives me a good shouting."" ""Try what I do,"" says the second man. ""I drive across the lawn, sla…

A survey company interviews 3 Christians and asks them about their daily routine. The first man says ""Well, I wake up and kiss my beautiful wife and thank Jesus for this lovely day. Then I go to church if I am in the mood. If I'm not in the mood, I watch gospel TV."" The interviewer says: ""But I thought Christians had to go to church every Sunday."" ""Well,"" replies the man, ""My pastor never told me that."" The second man says: ""I wake up and eat a delicious breakfast, but not before saying…

A bartender is closing down his bar at the end of the evening. Three men remain hunched over at the bar. Each has been there the whole night and has been drinking heavily, but none of them seem to have the strength or desire to strike up a conversation. As the bartender cleans the last few glasses before he kicks the three men out, he decides it's worth a shot to try to cheer these poor guys up. He goes up to them and asks what's got them down. As it turns out, the three of them have all just be…

Three men are talking about their wives... There are three men sat around a table in a bar. The first man says, ""I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician. When I got home last night I found a pair of pliers and some insulating tape behind the radiator in the bedroom - we've not had any work done on the house, and I can't think of any other way they could have got there"" The second man says, ""I think my wife is having an affair with a carpenter. Last night I found a toolbelt in …