Why did the Siamese twins move to England? So the other one could learn to drive. Courtesy of the movie "Man on the Moon".

What's the difference between England and a tea bag? ...A tea bag stays in the cup longer! #FIFAWORLDCUPBRAZIL

My favorite genie joke. An Irish farmer was tending to his land when he discovered a magic lamp. He rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared. "For releasing me from my prison, I shall grant you any three wishes," he says. "Now, what is your first wish?" The farmer says, "I want the Huns to attack Ireland!" The genie questions the farmer, confused, but the farmer insists. The genie grants th wish, and the Huns begin their raid, killing, stealing, raping and pillaging all the way to Ireland and back.…

ENGLISH IS A FUNNY LANGUAGE Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant not ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is …