Forgiving Your Enemies After a long sermon, the priest asks his parishioners if they are ready to forgive their enemies. About half of the people in the congregation raise their hands. The priest talks for another 20 minutes and at the end asks the same question. This time, 80 percent of the parishioners raise their hands. The priest then talks for 15 more minutes and asks if the parishioners are ready to forgive their enemies. This time everyone raises their hands, except for the little old lady in the back. "Mrs. Johnson, are you not ready to forgive your enemies?" asks the priest. "I don't have any" says Mrs. Johnson. "That is amazing. How old are you?" "I'm 93." "Will you please go to the altar and explain to all of us how anybody could make it to 93 years old without having any enemies?" Mrs. Johnson gets up and goes to the altar. As she's facing the congregation, she says, "Simple, I outlived those bastards!"