(Series) A tabloid hires a retired MMA fighter to write the headlines in an effort to save copy space. Story: Speech impairment expert delights patient with early Christmas fancy dress. Headline: Sanda! Story: Suzanne Mcfamousinourtown dumped on wedding day by Israeli lover. Headline: Jiu-jitsu! Story: farmers set to start multi-storey farming with staple vegetables in new trials. Headline: High karate! Story: Japanese furniture and bakery store to open as competition to Swedish giants. Headline…

Mountain Climbing Joke A politician, 3 doctors, and 3 engineers decided to climb Mt. Everest. They arrive there and started the long way up the tallest climb on Earth. It's a grueling climb and they have to stop many times to rest and pull each other up. Half way into the climb, the rope starts to break. The doctors say they should all hang on and wait for help. No one believes help will arrive on time. The engineers, with their quick physics skills, tell everyone "One of us has to…

New Year's Eve is just a myth created by the government to sell you more years

*Maybe try dressing up as SpongeBob this Halloween, since you're so self absorbed.* -Me as a therapist