A deranged Russian record collector is arrested and interviewed by the KGB... **KGB:** Tell us exactly vat happened. **Russian:** My wife told me she vas going to run avay with my record collection. **KGB:** And zen? **Russian:** And zen I vent to my shed, got my saw, and I cut off her legs. **KGB:** But zat vasn't all, vas it? **Russian:** No. My wife told me she had been handling my records without gloves. **KGB:** And zen? **Russian:** And zen I vent to my shed, got my saw, and I cut off her hands. **KGB:** But zat vasn't all, vas it? **Russian:** No. My wife insulted my favorite record. She said the 1967 classic "I'm a Believer" by the Monkees vas mindless drivel... **KGB:** And zen? **Russian:** And zen I saw her face.