A middle-aged woman saves money... ...for a plastic surgery. She wants to have a facelift. Finally, the big day arrives on her 47th birthday. It costs 5,000 dollars, but she feels like it was worth it. Her face is extremely beautiful and young again. She wants to test it, though, so she goes for a walk in the city centre. She stops at the post office and asks the employee: "Don't take this the wrong way, but how old do you think I am?" "Let's say 32" comes the answer. "I'm exactly 47!" says…

St. Peter: Why should I let you into heaven? Me: Once a coworker said "supposably" 7 times in a meeting & I just let her StP: Get in here

All human beings are threads interwoven in the great tapestry of life, except for that one guy at your office. What the hell is his problem?

Coworker: My husband's an angel. Me: You're lucky.. mine's still alive.