Naming your daughters A man has 3 daughters. One day, the daughters decided to ask their father why they were given the names they had. The first daughter asks: ""dad, why did you name me Rose?"" The father replies, ""well Rose, because when you were born, a rose landed on you as we left the hospital. The second daughter asks: ""dad, why did you name me Lily?"" The father replies, ""well Lily, because when you were born, a lily landed on you as we left the hospital. The third daughter approaches…

There once were three girls who were ugly. So they decided to do something about it. They went to a plastic surgeon first to see what their options were. ""It's hopeless, "" he said,"" You guys are too ugly."" ""We're girls, "" they said. ""But...there is a way. There's a magic lake that can change your appearance to whomever or whatever you want to look like. All you have to do is jump and shout the name off of the bridge. But be careful because it only works once"" So the girls went to the bri…

Shooting the Dog A woman was pregnant with triplets. One day she goes into this bank as it was being held up, and gets shot 3 times in her stomach, but luckily she lives. She goes to the doctor who tells her, her children will be all right, one day the bullets will come out. So 13 years later, one triplet, a girl, runs out of the bathroom and says, ""MOM, MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!"" So the mother tells her the story. The next day, the second daughter comes out and s…

A woman and her three daughters had been seeing a psychiatrist... They've reached their final session, in which the doctor declares he has deduced that the woman has three obsessions. ""You named your first daughter, Candy,"" he says, ""which tells me that you have an obsession with food. Your second daughter is named, Penny, which tells me you have an obsession with money."" The woman is furious that the result of all the sessions was this flimsy diagnosis. She scoffs at the doctor, grabs the h…