What do you do all day? A man came home from work and found his 5 children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden, The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog, Walking in the door, he found ...an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall, In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with…

Old man's wife has hearing problems An old man goes to his doctor. Old man: Hey Doc, my wife's hearing is becoming terrible, is there anything you can give me to help her out? Doc: Well, how bad is it? Old Man: We rarely talk any more, Doc, and I love her more than anything. Doc: Try the distance test. When you get home, Call her name and if she doesn't hear you, get closer and closer until she does. This will give me a good sense of how bad her hearing actually is. Old Man: Okay…

Husband: Guests are coming tonight. What's for dinner? Wife:I am not well today, so there's only green beans. Husband:No worry. I have an idea. When the guests arrives you'll welcome them and I'll go to the kitchen and drop one utensil and then you'll say "what happen" . Then I'll say "oh no!! I dropped the chicken " . Then again drop another utensil and say "I dropped the spaghetti. Now we only left with green beans." *Guest arrives* Wife: Welcome. Please make yourself comfortable. * loud …

A kid asks his grandmother "How come ive never seen you and grandpa fight?..." / - ... I see mom and dad fight from time to time, but ive never seen you and grandaddy fight... why is that? / - Well, says the grandma, we got married in the old church in the middle of town, after the marriage ceremony, we hopped on our horse carriage, it was a long time ago when horse carriages where still a thing, and cars where just starting to come around... And we went our way to our farm, that was a bit aw…