A deranged Russian record collector is arrested and interviewed by the KGB...
**KGB:** Tell us exactly vat happened.
**Russian:** My wife told me she vas going to run avay with my record collection.
**KGB:** And zen?
**Russian:** And zen I vent to my shed, got my saw, and I cut off her legs.
**KGB:** But zat vasn't all, vas it?
**Russian:** No. My wife told me she had been handling my records without gloves.
**KGB:** And zen?
**Russian:** And zen I vent to my shed, got my saw, and I cut тАж