So when a cop asks you why you have a handcuff key on your key ring, saying it was his wife's idea will get you a free ride in his cop car

Knock knock Who's there? Police. Your wife has been involved in a terrible car accident.

Driving Home Drunk An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. ""So,"" says the cop to the driver, ""where have ya been?"" ""Why, I've been to the pub of course,"" slurs the drunk. ""Well,"" says the cop, ""it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."" ""I did all right,"" the drunk says with a smile. ""Did you know,"" says the cop, standing straight an…

Some short drunk jokes A drunk was walking home in the middle of the night. He didn't notice one of the manholes was open so he fell down the shaft. After pondering his situation for a bit he said to himself: ""This sucks. If I don't get out of here in 10 minutes, I'm goin' home."" --------- A drunk climbed into a cab late at night and blurted at the driver:""Take me home, mah good man."" ""Could you be more specific, sir?"" asked the driver. ""Upstairs, second door on the left."" ------------ A…