A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says ""I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."" 'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams. ""We can't stand the sight of each other any longer"" the father says. ""We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her."" Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the p…

A couple were sleeping in bed when suddenly the phone rang The husband picked it up. 'Hello? ... How the hell do I know!, I'm not the weatherman!' He slams the phone down, 'who was that' asks his wife 'Just my Dad, wanted to know if the coast was clear tonight'.

Vacation It seems there was this couple from Minneapolis, Minnesota, who decided to go to Miami Beach for a few days to thaw out during one particularly cold winter. The airlines have crazy frequent flyer rules, and the wife ended up on a flight the day after her husband. The husband made it down to Florida and arrived at his hotel. Upon getting to his room, he decided to open his laptop and send his wife back in Minneapolis an email. Unfortunately, he didn't notice he had misspelled his wife's …

Getting Divorced! An old man calls his son and says, ""Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough."" ""Dad, what are you talking about?"" the son screams. ""We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,"" he says. "" I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her,"" and he hangs up. Now, the son is worried. He calls his sister. She says, ""Like hell they're getting divorced!"" She calls their father immedi…