The opposite of "Free Willy" is "Predestinationy."

My diet has slowly gone from balanced and nutritious to Augustus Gloop on the first stop of Willy Wonka's tour.

A cowboy walks into a bar, a few miles West of Brokeback Mountain, and, after two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. 'What the hell,' he says to himself, 'I really want a drink.' When the bartender approaches, he says to the cowboy, 'What's the name of your 'willy'?' The cowboy says, 'Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink.' The bartender says, 'I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your 'willy'. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan 'Just Do …

Magical meadow (Russian translated) An Elk walking in the forest hears strange tiny noises ""oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah"", he follows the voice and sees a small Hedgehog running in cercles on the meadow. He stops the hedgehog and asks him : - Hey my friend what are you doing ? - I just discovered this meadow and I think it's magical! Just run like me and you will feel amazing ! Elk interested shakes the head and starts running. After 15 minutes of intensive jogging Elk is completely tired he stops,…