Friend of mine just got his wife pregnant. Told him it reminded me of this joke. This very young and innocent country girl fell madly in love with this Greek guy and was determined to marry him. Her mother tried hard to stop her, but when she knew she couldn't stop her daughter, she said to her, ""Listen child, marry him and may you live happily ever after. But the day or night he asks you in bed to turn over, you come back to me, for he has lost respect for you."" The daughter agrees to this an…

A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money because he ran out of it. His mom said ""Sure sweetie. I'll will send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?"" ""Uhh oh yeah okay"" responded the kid. So his mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back her husband asked ""Well how much did you give the b…

"My husband's a talented voice actor & his brother's a makeup artist but nah this old lady is a different person" -the mom in Mrs. Doubtfire

Your mother and I want you to know that we love you very much, so that's why we're getting a divorce and marrying you instead.