A Military Chief and a Liuetenant Stumbled Across Some Familiar Tracks in the Woods... The LT says, ""Those are bear tracks, we should head in the other direction."" Chief says, ""Those are not bear tracks, they are deer tracks. We can keep traveling in this direction. We will find civilization soon."" LT says, ""Sir I am a commisioned officer in the military, I went to college, and I out rank you. Those are bear tracks!"" Chief responds, ""I am the highest enlisted rank in the military, and I h…

Two Police Officers out on a beat [NSFW] Police officers George and Mary, had been assigned to walk the beat. They had only been out a short while when Mary said, ""Damn, I was running late this morning after my workout and after I showered, I forgot to put on my panties! We have to go back to the station to get them."" George replied, ""We don't have to go back, just give the K-9 unit, Fido, one sniff, and he will go fetch them for you."" It was a hot day and Mary didn't fell like heading back …

Elephant Robbery A jeweller called the police station to report a robbery. ""You'll never believe what happened, Sergeant. A truck backed up to my store, the doors opened and an elephant came out. He broke my plate glass window, stuck his trunk in, sucked up all the jewelry and climbed back into the truck. The doors closed and the truck pulled away."" The desk sergeant said, ""Could you tell me, for identification purposes, whether it was an Indian elephant or an African elephant?"" ""What's the…

During camouflage training in Louisiana a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. ""You simpleton!"" the officer barked. ""Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"" ""Yes sir"" the solder answered apologetically. ""But if I may say so I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lo…