A limey vacationing in a colony is hauled in front of the local magistrate. ""The bobbies claim that you were seen swimming at the beach when suddenly you started pleasuring yourself, and then just as suddenly you stopped. How do you plead?"" The limey's head is hanging in shame. ""Guilty madam. I have no excuse. I am deeply embarrassed, but I would like to explain myself."" ""Go on,"" says the magistrate. ""Well madam. It's just that in the UK the water isn't as clear, and the sand is not as ne…