Three men die, and go to the pearly gates... St. Peter walks up to the firsts, and he says: ""You have lived a good life, but you have cheated on your wife many times. Confess here before your friends, and you will be allowed into heaven."" The man says: ""I slept with a different woman every week of my ten-year marriage. I beg for forgiveness."" St. Peter forgives him, and gives him a bicycle. He tells him that he must travel for a thousand miles as penance, and think about his sin. The second …

From an old National Lampoon record A guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. The comedian comes out for his first act of the evening and says, a guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. The comedian comes out for his second act of the evening and says, a guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. Just then, a guy in the audience says, I think I've heard this before. The comedian says, maybe you caught my first act. The man says, not lik…

Stop me if you've heard this one before. Jim was suspicious that his wife had been cheating on him. He took off from work early to see if he could catch her in the act. Driving up to his apartment Jim caught a glimpse through an open window of a strange man walking around in his dining room. Now convinced his wife has been unfaithful, Jim stormed into the building and raced up the stairs. Fumbling with his keys at first, Jim burst through the door to find his wife standing in the hallway covered…

A guy suspects his wife is cheating on him so he comes home early from work one day... His wife meets him at the door in a bathrobe, her hair a mess. ""Where is he?"" he demands. ""Where's the guy who's been sleeping with you?"" ""I don't know what you're talking about, dear,"" she answers, so the guy tears the house apart looking for him. Finally, he's on the second floor in the kitchen, he looks out the window and sees a guy sitting in a Volkswagen. ""That's him,"" the guy thinks. ""That's the…