I was pregnant in High School BEFORE it became popular....

High school kids, these awful years are going to end up being the best years of your life. That's how much everything else sucks.

[High school reunion] Classmate: I've been out building schools in Africa Me: I got banned from the zoo for gluing sideburns onto a dolphin

[High school reunion] Hey guys! Remember me!? "No" How about now? *puts an entire toilet on my head* (in unison) CHRIS!