Son: Mom, why are you always showing up at my school on chicken nugget day? Me: *literally salivating* Here to see you, buddy.

A midget with a speech impediment One day this rancher gets a phone call from one of his high school buddies . His buddy says that he has a friend that is interested in buying a horse and naturally he referred him to his buddy. The rancher said ""That's fine, what does the guy look like so that when he shows up I knows who to look for."" The buddy says, ""Oh, well he's a midget with a speech impediment you can't miss him."" ""Alright,"" said the rancher Later in the day this car pulls into the r…

I got my first prostate exam today and I was pretty scared about the whole ordeal. The doctor took me in the room and explained it's not all that bad and it would be over before I knew it. After a few preliminary checkups I got ready and went ahead and laid over the exam table and tried to prepare myself for what was coming. I tensed up at first and the doctor put a hand on my right shoulder and said, ""relax,okay big guy! It's all gonna be over soon I just need to check for enlargements."" Abou…

A joke that is too long and doesn't have a punchline walks into a bar. He looked a bit gloomy. The bartender decides not to comment on this at first and just asks: ""What can I get you?"" The joke replies: ""A beer please"" - ""ok, coming up"". The bartender proceeds to take a glass out of the shelf and pours the joke a nice and cold beer. ""Here you go"". - ""Thanks"". Around 20 minutes pass. The joke sits at the bar, drinking alone. Meanwhile, other people enter the bar. There are two attracti…