Both of them? Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy says, ""Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs an get me slippers?"" ""No bother,"" he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sitting on their beds. ""Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both."" ""Fook off you liar!"". ""I'll prove it,"" Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, ""Both of them, Paddy?"" ""Of course, what's the use of fookin'…

Irish joke Paddy takes his goldfish to the vet. ""I think it's got epilepsy"" he tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says ""It seems calm enough to me"". Paddy says, ""I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet"".

Paddy And Murphy Are In The Pub Paddy and Murphy are havin' a pint in the pub, when some scuba divers come on the TV. Paddy says, ""Murphy, why is it them deep sea divers always sit on the side of the boat with them air tanks on their backs, and fall backwards out of the boat?"" Murphy thinks for a minute then says, ""That's easy. It's 'cos if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the friggin boat!""

Paddy and Michael are out walking when Paddy falls down a well.... Michael shouts down ""Paddy! have you broken anything???"" Paddy replies ""No! there's nothing down here to break!""