Little Johnny and his mother were walking home from the grocery store when they... ...looked into an alley and saw two dogs getting it on. Johnny asks his mother, ""Mom, what are they doing?"" His Mom, extremely flustered at this point, says, ""Uhhh, you see the dog on top, honey? He's just sick so his friend at the bottom is carrying him around."" Johnny remains silent, and continues to do so all the way home, while his mother is conflicted about her little Johnny's innocence, so she finally tu…

A Little Johnny Christmas Little Johnny's father was having trouble with his son. Little Johnny had a problem with cursing. Not knowing where to go, Johnny's father went to a psychologist about the problem. ""Here's what you do"", said the Psychologist. ""Christmas is coming up. Ask Johnny what he wants for Christmas and every time he answers and curses, leave a pile of dog crap where that present goes."" Later that day, Johnny's father asks his son what he wants for Christmas. Johnny replies ""…

Snake in the garden. Little Johnny's dirty and needs a bath but hates taking them. He asks his mom if he can take a shower with her. She thinks about it a bit and agrees but makes him promise not to look up or down. While taking their shower Johnny looks up and asks, ""what are those?"" his mom says, ""they're flood lights"", then he looks down and asks, ""mommy what's that?"" she says, ""oh that's called a garden."" The next night same thing. Johnny doesn't want to take his bath. This time he a…

Johnny's mother and the bullet. Johnnny's mom was pregnant with twins, johnny and his Emma. While pregnant, she was robbed and shot twice in the stomach. The doctor said the babies would survive, but would piss out a bullet once they hit puberty. She gave birth, and some years later Emma came running to her mom saying, ""Mommy, mommy! I went to the bathroom and pissed out a bullet! So her mom told her what happened. A few days later, Johnny came running to his mother and said, Mommy mommy! Guess…