Bella is the most misunderstood girl in fiction. She games Edward for immortality, starts a vampire war&secures a wolf servant for her baby.

the turkey takes his mask off it's edward snowden obama groans, it's too late to unpardon him now

Edward Scissorhand's death was probably from running.

Dear Edward, maybe the reason you can't read Bella's mind is because there's nothing in her head. Sincerely, Logic.