Why aren't there any pedophiles in Japan? Because they learned what happens when you touch a little boy.

Fun prank: tell your kid World War II ended by the Americans dropping an F-bomb on Japan. Then later when his teacher calls, act shocked.

Dad, is Santa real? There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa has a…

Three men in an airplane... **My brother just reminded me of this joke I used to tell back in 2nd grade like 20 years ago:** There are three men in an airplane: a Russian guy, a Japanese guy and an American. As the plane is flying over Russia, the Russian says ""I love my country so much I'll drop a nickel."" So he drops a nickel and parachutes down and sees a girl crying. ""What's the matter little girl?"" ""My dad is choking on a nickel and he's dying!"" she exclaims. Back in the airplane, now…