The swearing parrot. Did you hear about guy who had a parrot who swore continually. Finally, the guy told the parrot if he didn't clean up his language, he was going to throw him in the freezer. The parrot continued to swear, so the guy did as he had threatened. After a couple of hours the guy let the parrot out of the freezer, asking him if he had learned his lesson. Shivering, the parrot said that he had and wouldn't swear any more. After a few minutes, the parrot told the guy he had one quest…

A little old lady wants to buy a parrot. So she goes to the local pet store and asks the shopkeeper if he has any parrots. "Well I've just got this one right now but I have to warn you he used to belong to an old sailor and he's picked up some nasty words. Why don't you come back next week." He said. "No that's quite alright. I know just how to handle him." So she pays for the bird and brings him home and sure enough once he gets home he starts cussing up a storm so the old lady takes him a…

If a turkey got murdered, the chalk outline would look like a giant preschooler's hand.

Feeding some weed to the turkey so it will already be baked when we kill it... Will save sooo much time !