Joke my grandfather told me There was this elderly couple, and the wife had always wanted to visit Israel. Eventually the husband got tired of her nagging him about it and decided to take the trip. During the trip, however, she dies. A kind Israeli funeral home owner offers to bury the man's wife for 150$. The man is not sure he wants to take him up on the offer. ""But it could easily cost you thousands of dollars back in the US, plus the cost of transporting her body!"" The man said he'd think …

Alan Finkelkraut goes to Israel to die... Alan Finkelkraut, an upstanding member of the Teaneck Jewish community, upon his retirement at the age of 70 from the family furniture business decides that finally the time had come for him to make the move that he couldn't have before - to move to Israel where he can end his days. Over a smorgasbord of pickled herring and gefilte fish Alan Finkekraut announced his intentions to all his relatives and friends: ""With my retirement the time has finally co…

Shovels, Asses and Camels Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, ""Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."" Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, ""Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."" Today, Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised land! I was so depressed last night…

My grandma sent the entire newspaper to me in the subject line of an email.