Cemetery help. My wife & I recently bought a house. To get pretty much anywhere, the main road from our neighborhood goes through a giant cemetery. Now, a week before we bought the house, - on Thanksgiving morning - my wife gave birth to our first child - a boy (side note, I wouldn't recommend having a baby & buying a house in the same week if you value your sanity). Every time we're in the car together and drive through the cemetery, I now feel the awesome responsibility of fatherhood a…

Wife killed me with a dad joke. We just had a baby so... I guess my wife is feeling the dad joke vibe. **Pizza shop** Waiter: Sorry the kitchen dropped your pizza, we're remaking it, it'll be another 15 minutes. Me: Huh, glad we're not rushin' Wife: Yeah, I like being American . Me: ....

The first dad joke you'll make A guy calls the hospital. He says, ""You gotta send help! My wife's going into labor!"" The nurse says, ""Calm down. Is this her first child?"" He says, ""No! This is her husband!""

(My first dad joke) Wife was breastfeeding Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in