An old man has been waiting in line to get into heaven for so long, that when the time came for his name to be looked up in the big book, he couldn't remember it St. Peter was a bit frazzled and could not figure out what to do. So he calls Jesus over to help him out. Jesus begins to ask the man some questions in order to jog his memory in hopes to find his name. Jesus: ""did you have any children?"" Man: ""just one...a wonderful boy."" Jesus: ""hmm, alright let's press on. What was your occupati…

An old man dies and reaches the gates of heaven. He is quite confused and doesn't remember things too well. St Peter asks him the routine questions, but doesn't get anywhere. So he tells him ""Never mind, I'll take you to the boss"" and brings him to Jesus. Jesus starts asking questions. ""Hello old man. Do you remember your name?"" The old man replies ""No... not really... something that starts with J... I remember that people didn't call me by my real name..."" ""Mmmm... what did you do for a …

The Pope dies and arrives in Heaven. St. Peter awaits him. St. Peter asks who he is. The Pope: ""I am the pope."" St. Peter: ""Who? There's no such name in my book."" The Pope: ""I'm the representative of God on Earth."" St.Peter: ""Does God have a representative? He didn't tell me ..."" The Pope: ""But I am the leader of the Catholic Church ..."" St. Peter: ""The Catholic church ... Never heard of it ... Wait, I'll check with the boss."" St. Peter walks away through Heaven's Gate to talk with G…

Be Fruitful and Multiply A dead-beat Dad died and went to Heaven. He was greeted at the Golden Gate by St. Peter, who warmly shook his hand and asked him to sit down next to him. Looking over the dead-beat Dad's file, St. Peter frowned and shook his head sadly. ''Your record looks fine, except for one glaring item. Why the hell didn't you pay child support for your six kids?'' The man jumped up. ''Child support?! All God said in Genesis was 'Be fruitful and multiply.' He didn't say nothin' about…