Him: You were supposed to do something about the groundhog under the deck. Me: I did. I named him Lord Melbourne. He likes Cocoa Puffs.

There is a game show where you have to make up short poems containing a special word within one minute. In the final show there are only two people left: A rabby from New York and a farmer from New Zealand. They get the word ""Timbouktou"". The rabby is first. He starts: ""I was a rabby all my life, I loved my children and my wife, I read the bible through and through and I did it on my way to Timbouktou"". The audience is fascinated. Nobody belives that the farmer could top this. Now he starts:…

I learnt that Mel Gibson was born in Australia Well I guess you could say he was from... -puts on glasses- MELBOURNE

A donkey, a calf and a foal walk into a bar... Its not a joke, it really happened in Melbourne not that long ago