A creative writing teacher is having a conference with one of his students about his last piece and the grade he gave the student. The student asked ""Why did you give me an F?"" The teacher responds ""Have you ever heard that if you place a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters an infinite amount of time, they'll eventually write the works of Shakespeare?"" He holds up the paper and says ""3 monkeys, 10 minutes.""

Yeah, I knew Shakespeare in college. Typical neck bard.

The Blind Clerk A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark shades. She says to him, "Excuse me, sir.. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes." She doesn't believe him but drops it…

Some funny pick up lines Do you have a map? Cause I just got lost in your eyes. If your left leg is Halloween, and your right leg is Christmas, CAN I COME IN BETWEEN HOLIDAYS? My love for you is like diarrhea, i just can't hold it in. If i said you had a hot body, would you hold it against me? Nice legs...what time do they open? Um…I have a lotta money. Hey baby, did you just break wind? Cause you're blowing me away. Hey. Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you …